Mama Monday #25.1

Theme: Care

So...those girls. Again with those girls! They're presence in our life is... fine. Really. But it's also making me feel just a wee bit self conscious.

Whenever they're over, I always preface play time by letting everyone know just how long the fun can last.

For example, this weekend I announced that Sweetie's Daddy would be leaving in about one hour. When he goes, the girls have to go home for the day.

(In theory, all girls agreed with this plan. In reality, Sweetie pitched a fit when we called her home).

Anyway, it makes me feel like I'm some kind of Doomsday Sayer, setting up the inevitable fall from a happy situation.

(Let it be known, however, that the neighbor girls are always agreeable and perfectly accepting of playtime's end whenever it rolls around. It's Sweetie who's the dramatic one. Of course.)

Whenever the girls are playing in our house, I feel like I'm constantly telling them not to do something, go somewhere, or to generally be careful.

You can all play upstairs in (Sweetie's) room and playroom. But no one's allowed in our bedroom or my closet. And only go into the bathroom if you need to use it.

No playing by the stairs. No bringing toys downstairs. Be careful on the stairs!

(For the record, I'm perfectly aware that "be careful" is probably the most frequent phrase to come out of my mouth on a daily basis anyway. But saying it to Sweetie when the other girls are there just makes me feel like I'm being over concerned. In fact, the 6 1/2 year old girl even said to me once, after I insisted Sweetie be careful on the stairs - She is being careful).

(Also? I don't feel that I'm truly all that over protective of Sweetie, as a general rule. I know she's perfectly capable of walking down a staircase! In fact, I remember times when my mom was over and told Sweetie to be careful on the stairs, and I was all - She's okay! She's on those stairs all the time).

(My parents, it may be important to note, live in a Ranch style house. Stairs are not so much an issue for anyone there).

Anyway - I plain ol' feel like I'm constantly telling Sweetie and the girls to be careful and/or to not do one thing or another. 

Pick up that toy before someone trips on it.

Don't drink that too fast - you don't want to choke.

No running in the house, please. Especially if you're only wearing socks!

Don't take those toys outside. I don't want them to get lost.

If you go outside, stay on the grass in our yard. No playing by the back hill. No walking on the wall. And if you do cross the street, be sure to look both ways before you go.

(Note: you may recall that we live on a very short, very quiet dead end street. There's very little danger of anyone missing the fact that a car is coming or not. Still. Practice makes perfect, right? For times in the future when it will matter much more to watch the traffic).

Geesh! I'm such a control freak! I'm so overly careful!

No. Not really. I think I'm actually in the "normal" range regarding parental concern for my child's safety and the safety of her peers.

I think the thing is - those girls are two out of six kids! Their family is so big that I wonder how much of this "be careful"/"don't do that" stuff they get at home. I'd imagine the parents, after having so many kids, have acquired a sort of - eh... they can take care of themselves - sort of attitude. Oops... I mean, they're more at ease with this whole parenting thing. Yeah. That's it.

I've met these parents. As far as I'm concerned, they're good, smart, responsible people with good, smart, responsible kids. And the "at ease"/"whatever" attitude I'm attributing to them is completely based on my own stereotype of what I think it must be like to have a large family - not on reality.

Still. These girls. They make me self conscious. 

Especially when they were over the other day, first playing upstairs (where I told them all the "rules"), then deciding to play downstairs (different rules), then opting to go outside (guess what?! more rules!), and finally all three (probably the neighbor girls' idea, though) opting to go play in their yard instead.

Geesh! Trying to get away from the crazy/ever-watchful Mama much?

Yeah. Most likely. But this is Sweetie's and their well being we're talking about! I don't care what they think!

(Much)

Sweetie Saturday #108 - Sweet Sweetie Edition

Nothing too funny today. As I'm home with Sweetie so much now, I guess many of her funnier moments now just wash over me as her just being Sweetie. 

Daddy: How are you, Sweetie? How was your day?

Sweetie. Great! I'm great everyday! (Really? We had no idea).

Daddy: Oh, yeah? What was the best thing about today?

S: Playing with the girls. Except, I was sad when Mama said it was time to come inside.

D: Yeah....well, what did you do with them?

S: We played house. And K____ lost her toy kitten and I couldn't help look for it because Mama said to come inside.

D: Was it an imaginary kitten or a real kitten it.

S: It was a real TOY kitten.

Me: Did she lose it in our yard, or theirs?

S: In their yard.

Me: Well, they were still outside for awhile, so I'm sure they found it.

S: Yeah.... and we also had a picnic!

D: You did? What did you eat? Was it real food, or pretend?

S: Real food! We had milk's favorite cookie and I won!

D: How do you win at eating Oreo's?

S: No! They were Speed Racer Oreos and my cookie had four flags on it, so I won.

D & Me: Oh.

(Sorry, that probably wasn't all that fascinating. But I thought it was rather interesting that she oh so casually referred to Oreos as "milks favorite cookie" - just as if that's what everyone calls them! And, no, she didn't get that from a T.V. commercial. She saw a print ad in my current Parenting magazine).

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7:00 a.m. this morning:

Good morning, Mama!

Good morning, Sweetie. Give me a few minutes, okay? My eyes hurt.

Okay..... but what about my breakfast?

You're going to take a tubby as soon as I get up.

Oh. Okay.

(About 5 minutes pass, until my eyes feel better. I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. No sign of Sweetie).

Where's (Sweetie)?

Ha! Right here! I've been waiting a long time for you! (naked in the empty tub)

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A couple nights ago, it was my night to put Sweetie to bed. She hadn't been entirely well behaved just moments before, so her punishment was no reading any of her story.

She straightened herself out in the last remaining moments, though - enough so that I conceded to telling her a poem from memory as her story that night.

I left her contented. She was fine.

One minute later, she was out of her room, crying that she couldn't sleep because no one rubbed my back or my arm.

I got off the couch and headed up to settle her in again - irritated to have to do so, but thinking Sweetie was sweet to "need" Mama's  gentle touch.

Hubby asked me:

Do you always rub her back when you put her to bed?

Yeah. I guess so. I mean, It's never something I think about. But I probably do.

Oh. I always do. I always rub either her arm or her back before saying goodnight.

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That's it. Just some sweet Sweetie stories and notes from the week. Have a great Holiday Weekend!

Waaaaiting...Is The Hardest Part

We need a new car. Well, two new cars, really. But one, at least, sooner than not. Especially with gas prices as they are.

As soon as I get word on (the) job, we can trade in the car.

I see that Blogher is now accepting registration for the Boston leg of their Conference Tour. I definitely want to go to that - it's alway been part of my plan.

As soon as I get word on (the) job, I'll be able to justify spending money on the registration fee.

Hubby needs a new nutrient pack for his AeroGrow. And he wants to get lettuce pods for it too. Probably other kits as well.

As soon as I get word on (the) job, Hubby can order whatever he needs.

My back and shoulders are so sore from sitting at our too tall desk as I job search and write. I need a massage. It's my birthday time! I should treat myself to a nice massage!

As soon as I get word on (the) job, I'll feel okay about spending some money on myself.

We so want to get together with more of our friends on a more regular basis. Hubby and I both love great food at great restaurants with great people. 

As soon as I hear about (the) job, we'll all go out for celebratory dinners together!

Sweetie would really love to do some sort of summer activity: swimming, ballet, gymnastics, karate, acting - something.

As soon as Mama hears about (the) job, I'll sign you up for any kind of activity you like, Sweetie.

If I'm to get word on (the) job at all, it will most likely happen today or tomorrow. 

I'm waiting. And hoping. I have a cautiously optimistic outlook on this. But, of course, there are no guarantees. Ever.

So as I wait, I continue my search. I hunt for a position that may be a good fit for me. I submit resumes, I send query letters, and I network with others as best as I can.

But mostly.... I wait.

Hopefully, not for much longer.

Mama Monday #24.1

Theme: Count

I'm trying not to count my chickens before they're hatched - but it's very hard to do.

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Tomorrow's my birthday. I lost count of how old I am. Once I hit 30, it honestly now takes me a few minutes to think about it and figure out my age.

I'll tell you this much - It's been more than a few years that I've had this age-specific memory trouble.

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I count how many aches I have, and how many times I sneeze in a row. How many tissues did I just use up? Yeah - I've got a cold. I can tell it's not allergies (allergies don't first show symptoms at 8pm at night). Yippee. What an awesome week to get sick.

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No matter. Hubby and I have very loose plans to go out for dinner for my birthday - at some point. Not necessarily tomorrow. Not even necessarily this week. I have no idea when. It all really depends on his work schedule, which is still up in the air for the week at this point. 

Other than that, I've got nothing going on for my birthday. No cake. No presents (my rules, upon counting up our money - or lack thereof - in the checkbook). No family get-togethers (at least none planned at this point). Nothing. Just the same as every day - Sweetie & me hanging out together; me half-heartedly job searching for a position I figure I can at least tolerate enough to apply for (refer back to note #1 about not counting my chickens); and me trying not to contaminate Sweetie too much with my cold germs.

Woo hoo! Party on, dudes!

Whatever. I'm too old to party too much at this point.

At least I think so - I can't really remember anymore.

Sweetie Saturday #107 - Subtlety Is Not Her Strong Suit Edition

Sweetie is very good at tellin' it like it is.... for better or for worse.

When I opened the door to find that friend of the neighbor girls back at our house around dinner time that night, Sweetie plainly (angrily?) told her:

Hey! What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here now.

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Sweetie has also insisted, upon seeing the neighbor girls outside in their own yard, on going outside specifically just to tell them how she can't play right now.

(Thankfully, I've been able to dissuade her from actually going through with this announcement).

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When the 6 1/2 year old neighbor girl peered through our living room window the other day, we opened the door, only for me to tell her (in my most apologetic tone):

Hi there. Sorry, I don't think (Sweetie) can play today. Maybe some other time.

Sweetie, though, couldn't let it rest at that, adding rather bluntly:

Yeah. I can't play today. You have to go home now.

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In the car yesterday Sweetie suddenly started screaming.

What?! What's the matter Sweetie?!

A tiny spider is crawling on my seat!

Well, shoo it away then. If it's tiny, it's probably a baby. It won't hurt you.

(lots of stomping noises ensued, accompanied by the following commentary from the back seat):

It's a baby spider but it's going to grow up to be a humongous spider! Maybe it's a baby boy spider and so when it grows up it will be a Daddy Long Legs. But it won't grow up, because... I killed it.

Awesome. Way to get in touch with your inner Buddhist, Sweetie. Or not. Whatever.

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Now that Sweetie occasionally lets me put her hair in pigtails, I've been interested to show her pictures of myself at her age with the same hairstyle. 

Yesterday, I finally got the chance to show her - she looks an awful lot like I did at 5 years old.

These pictures I showed her were at my parents' house. When Sweetie saw them, she asked Nana:

Is that me, or Mama?

It's you!

It is?

Yeah - don't you remember sitting in that chair and wearing those clothes?

Uh...no? I don't think so.

Ha! I'm just kidding! That's not you, it's your Mama. I was just pulling your leg.

Oh! Let me see that picture of you pulling my leg. I want to see it.

Hmmmm. Literal, and bluntly honest. Boy, is she going to be popular in school.

Good luck with that, Sweetie. You're going to need it.

Happy Days For All?

Hey! Remember Disaboom? Do y'all check out my blog over there on a regular basis?

Check out my posts from both yesterday and today.

Afterwards, please answer this question for me, if you don't mind:

Do you ever get possessive of your own time and how your child(ren)'s social scene effects that?

Actually, I'm sure many (if not most) parents do feel this way. It must be because it's all new to me that I'm just now thinking about this in my own life.

What do you do to make sure both you and your child(ren) get the free/fun time you all deserve?

Mama Monday #23.1

Theme: New

Back when Sweetie was a tiny baby, I had a conversation with one of my sisters-in-law, herself a mom of two (at the time): a 4-year old and a 1-year old. I remember her making the comment that she still considered herself to be a "new mom".

What? You're not a new mom, I thought. You've got two kids! You've got your "mom thing" down pat.

Now, here I am, a mom to 5-year old Sweetie. Now I can no longer call my self a new mom.

Or can I?

Sweetie is my only child. She will always be my only child. Every new thing she does, every new milestone she hits, every new skill she learns, every new frustration she puts me through, everything - it's all new. New for her, for me, and for her Daddy. It always will be.

Parenting is an adventure - a thrill ride. For those parents who have more than one child - well, perhaps they at least feel a little more secure on the ride the second time around. Or is it that the second (third? forth? more?) child presents different, not-so-secure bumps in the path along the way? At any rate, I imagine there's some sense of security, comfort and familiarity when siblings are added to the mix.

But for parents of single children - like Hubby and I - parenthood is one long, exciting, sometimes smooth/sometimes bumpy adventure ride with new thrills at every turn. Nothing grows old for us. Nothing is "been there/done that". Everything is amazing. Everything is new.

Until the end of my days, I will always be a new mom. Every one of Sweetie's "firsts" will be a first for me as well.

I will grow old. But thanks to Sweetie, I will experience many, many new parenting firsts along my life's path.

Thank you, Sweetie. Life with you is, and will always be, one fantastic journey.

Sweetie Saturday #106 - Daddy Laughs Edition

A source of endless hilarity for Hubby (okay, and me too)....

Sweetie, can I check if this smoothie is cold on your belly?

Yeah, Daddy. Just a minute…

(finds a good stopping point for whatever she's working on at the time)...

Okay?

….Okay. (lifts shirt, allowing full exposure for the always freezing cold glass of smoothie drink) Aaaaaa!!!!!!!!

She never refuses.

It's always cold, Daddy! Because you make smoothies with ice!

But I don't know about this one. I don't think I put ice in this one. Come here and we'll see if it's cold on your belly.

Okay.....Aaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

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Sweetie? Why do you always sit so nice and still with Mommy, but you're all wiggly when you're with me?

Mama is more comfy.

No she's not! Mama is sharp and bony.

Well, she's got soft bones. Softer bones than you.

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Looking at a particular patch of grass at Nana's house:

Mama, is that a clover?

Yes.

Yeah, I finally found their name in my mind.

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Sweetie has lots of pretend friends. There's Mrs. Always Smart the Bunny, and Mrs. Sockfuel to name just a couple. These two in particular have visited with me quite a lot this week. They're very nice friends, helping me clean up my closet and Sweetie's room.

But then they leave and Sweetie comes back, wondering if I've met anyone interesting lately.

Oh, yes! I just had a visit from Mrs. Always Smart The Bunny. Then, when she left, I met a new friend - Mrs. Sockfuel. She was wearing a lovely hat and socks on her hands! Very silly. She was nice. I wish you could have met her. It's funny how you're never around when these friends come to visit.

Hmmmmm. Yeah. That is strange.

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Lastly... not a funny thing, but something of note anyway...

At library story time this week, Sweetie listened intently as an older girl read a familiar book. Afterward, Sweetie mentioned:

That book is at my sch..... my old school, only it's a smaller sized book.

Hmmm.... it seems reality has set in for Sweetie and she's now understanding - she's not going back to preschool.

I'm glad she's doing so well with this decision. She hasn't complained at all or asked about old friends (I've already assured her that she'll still be able to have play dates with some of her closer friends from preschool). And she's taken very well to "playing" school at home. We've bought her a new kindergarten level activity book and assign her a few pages to do each day. She takes her home schoolwork very seriously. She's doing well.

Good job, Sweetie! Keep it up!